Diary of a 12 year old girl Part 2 January 17, 2009
The Story so far…I’ve been getting out those old, shameful diaries and have found them rather interesting and amusing and so have collated the interesting and amusing bits for your reading pleasure (I’ve left original spelling and punctuation, it adds I think):
23rd October 2002
“Today Danielle wasnt here, so the boys completely ignored us! Outrageous! We’ll just ignore them tomorrow”
11-12-03 (Scary/Exciting Orientation Day)
“The short boy I was telling you about gave me a squashed, demented Mintie, I dont know why, pity on the crippled?!”
12th Frday December 2003
“I’m am in highest heaven right now! A new L.M. Montgomery book! ‘Course I had to order it from the bookshop, but it is here now and it’s the completion of the Emily Series. It rasied an interestingpoint about fairies. Cousin Jimmy said, “Well you know, if a fairy was really-truly it wouldnt be a fairy”
So, if fairies were real, (which my common sense implors, ‘their not‘) than they wouldnt be a fairy. I agree. i love the word fairy, its dainty and light and dancing on tip toes; it reeks of imaginations=. Their moonlights of imagination, they’re born by it and grown in sunshine and dew – like plants! They blossom in shadey, mossey dells, hidden by guaridan tree’s in the moonlight which is so silvery ( I love that word as well!) its white, pure light”
Wednesday 17th December 2003
6:37 “Its a hot air tonight. ‘Hot air’ isnt a very good description I would put ‘Meditteranean air’ but its not that – Meditteranean air has a spice about it.”
Tuesday 23 December 2003
“This year we have candles (Mum doesn’t like Christmas tree’s), and they look very alluring with their soft glow”
“There was this 14 year old boy, who had this amazing voice! It sounded just like a man’s! It did not suit his body”
“I told Mum, that if I died, she could read my diary, so I should watch what I write I ‘spose. I dont know who’s gonna read this in the end. It could get published! Millions of people could read this word I pen down! Or no one will ever read this, maybe, maybe only God and I will ever know what’s written here, or maybe it’ll get as famous as Anne Franks…Oh rats
I know I’ll read this when I’m 20 or so, and I’ll pass it down to my children, and they’ll pass it down to their children…wow! Actually it’s hardly likely that this’ll get published, unless I survive World War 2 or get cancer or something.
What a relief!. It would give me the heebie jeebies thinking that heaps of people will read this…unless I’m dead, then I wouldnt mind so much”
Wednesday 24th December 2003
“I have discovered a new thing. When I just can’t get to sleep, when I just cant get comfortable; when I want a change of thoughts; I change over and sleep the other way around! It works pretty well”
‘Christmas is here
Where did it go?
Why did it leave?
I want to know’
Saturaday 27th December 2003
“There’s two types of cute, boy cute (meaning hot, handsome, good lookin’) and bunny rabbit cute and fluffy.”
“The Aunties do the Aunty thing (hugging, kissing, ‘oh how you’ve grown’ ‘how tall you are!’ ‘I like your clothes/hair/shoes’) while the Uncles stand back fora hug or a hand shake.”
Jarrod (my little cousin) immediately takes my hand (i’m that girl’) to show me his Christmas presents/ He gave me ‘serious’ instructions on how to handle the remote control cars ‘without getting burn’t’.”
Tuesday 13th January 2004
“[the uniforms] are just like the ones off Home and Away (not that I watch that show – I detest it actually. But heaps of people think that it’s cool – not that that makes t cool but it’s alright! having people think its cool – if you know what I mean) *note…I dont actually!
“Brain fog – that explains it exactly. A dense cloud covering, that makes it really hard to think or concentrate. I dont know how to get rid of it, usually it disperses but lately it’s just been a drone.
This day marks a significant stepping stone –
TODAY I SHAVED MY LEGS FOR THE FIRST TIME!
Well, it isnt that significant, nor did I technically shave. I used this hair removal cream which is pain free. My leg hair was atrocious, I really desperately needed it…So Mum lathered the cream (that smelt strongly of plasticy kind of) on the bottom half (below the knee) of my lef. She smoothed it with goo and after five minutes we scraped it off with a scrapey thing and wallah! so smooth legs. But my legs were so hairythat I had to do it twice. But it feels weird now, like plastic. Fake legs.
“I dont think the icing really went with the chocolate, but if you pull off the icing, eat the cake, then the icing, as I do, it was alright”
Thursday 29th January 2004
MY FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL!
on combination locks…”It took me a couple of tries to get it, but Renee and Elizabeth a lot longer! Though, I couldn’t help them because no one is allowed to know the combination lock”
Sunday 8th Febraury 2004
“I have decided, in my future, I want it to involve God, music and writing. A career along those lines.”
*Note this has not changed
“(I would have more progress if the telley wasnt on – the killer of all good intentions)
“It felt very gallant to give up a seat to someone else, like I was some kind of knight in shining armour!”
“Apparently, the lady who is looking after Mum, her husband is the man who Dad occassionally shears for, and at the Prespryterian Concert, her daughter played the keyboard and her sons in Grade 8 and 11 both go to St. Mary’s It is a small world! Isnt it, amazing how people can be connected to us, and we probably dont even know it like, my pen pal, Carmen probably knows 500-1000 people, right, so if I ever meet one of them, we’re connected because they’re the so and so of my Spanish pen pal! So that means that every single person you know, wehter it be the bus driver or best pal, all the friends they make, and the people they know are connected to you also! you could be easily connected to the whole world, actually you are because the cycle keeps on going, like waves rolling into each other. For instance, lets go back to my pen pal, the friend of hers knows eight hundred people, then, all of them know another eight hundred people, then the friends of the friends of the friends of my pen pal know aother thousand people, so in the end; your connected to the world.
My point? I have no idea”
Diary of a 12 year Old January 14, 2009
I have been keeping an extensive and inseparable diary for years – ever since I was eleven. Seven years on, hundreds of words and 37 diaries later I am still writing in my diaries as much as ever.
Anyway, last night I was perusing my old diary – the one I called ‘Rosa De Moverly’ (back in my Anne of Green Gables obsessed days) and it was pretty much the funniest thing I have read in a long time
So here I shall publish the funny and interesting excerpts from the diary of a 12 year old book and boy obsessed girl (and wonder whether I have changed all that much!)
Oh and I’m keeping the original spelling and grammar
* Saturday 26th October 2003 (After breaking my leg doing long jump at the school sports)
“It’s kind of dumb how people say, ‘are you alright?’ when your there, tears pouring down your face combining with sand and snot. I suppose it’s also a sign they care.”
* Sunday 27st October 2003 (as part of a story I wrote)
“His face was a hopeless, barren desert when you are slowley dying of thirst and a terrorist holds you at gun point deciding whether or not to blow your brains to bits while he drinks the last few drops you have, then spits it in your face”
“Lucille cried out like an eagle having its wings hacked”
* Friday 7th November 2003 (the days of the Primary school romance. I find the shock and outrage of this excerpt quite funny)
“But not as obssesed as Danielle is about Brad – you should see her! She writes his name everywhere, over and over again. Yesterday she gave him her first proper kiss – on the lips! They’ve pecked before (4 times) but not on the lips. Shhhhh….dont tell anyone.”
* Monday 10th November 2003 (about our school camp to Canberra)
“On the seat beside me was Danielle and Bradley – two loverbirds . They held hands passionately near the end for a long time! It made me want to puke and I kept on giving Danielle “looks” to convey my message.”
* 24th Monday November 2003 (you can see the beginnings of my feminist thinking here yet still boy obsessed)
“I like to have muscles, to not cry much, to not be girlish and gigglish, to like cars and leggo and footey.”
“Back to transition. Sorry I get off the subject a lot, my train of thought you see, but who really cares, I dont think this will be published; and even if it is no one will care because they’ll be too engrossed in all my interesting stuff I have to say…where was I?”
* Sunday 30th November 2003
“…but he had nice eyes. Usually nice eyes is a saving grace to a male who usually would look, well, pretty ordinary.”
“There are lots of curious things in this world, things that are fun to speculate, but can give you a headache if you dwell on them too long”
“(I think we will be pinching pennies – but pinching hurts so much!)”
“The easiest way to fake tears, is to think of something realy sad like when Matthew dies in Anne of Green Gables and what his last words were (that always gets me in tears)
“If I couldnt read (or write) I dont know what I’d do. I’d just be existing, flavour would go out of life making it blonde. But I can, no fear (by the way, the same definitely applies to music)”
“(I’m very fond of brackets, and semi-colons; but mostly brackets)”
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Renee-isms January 13, 2009
My best friend Renee is a classic, she’s not blonde (red hair) but she says the most hilarious things without meaning to, and so this will be an ever growing list of those things…
“I’m not insulting you, I am merely bagging you out”
“He spoke well English”
“Erin, don’t worry, you’re just deficient”
“I do enjoy eating food” (as opposed to….?)
“Ethan, why do have a washing machine out here that’s just WEIRD!” (it was a drinks fridge)
later that night, me (in panicked tone): “where’s the fridge gone?!!!” (I was sitting on it)
and my own Renee-ism “If I was me I’d be scared of me”
Yeah we’re two of a kind
Funny Story…with a point December 22, 2008
Heard this story over the coffee gossip sessions at Mum’s staffroom…I think it’s true too
Two guys were walking up to a 21st party, where they only knew like one person. They thought to themselves…this is a chance too good to pass up, and so concocted a plan to pretend to be someone else. For this was their chance to be anything they ever wanted to be and no one would be able to tell the difference. So one pretended to be an pilot, because pilots are cool yeah; you always want to be one when your younger, and so he went around telling people he was a pilot and they would raise their eyebrows, be impressed. He even elaborated on it saying that he worked for the Royal Children’s hospital and flew around sick kids. This earnt him more kudos points…
When he was staying over that night a little girl fell down the stairs and fractured her leg, while all the guests were in a panic one said,
“Don’t worry, we have a trained paramedic pilot staying here who flies for the Royal Children’s Hospital!”