Stranded Gypsy Girl

Original. Quirky. Spreading Love Like Dandelions

CREDO FOR INDIVIDUALITY February 7, 2009

Filed under: My world and my life,Random Musings — bessabariangirl @ 9:24 am
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

“Cool denotes an impregnable sense of self, aloof from the crowd even as the crowd rushes to embrace it. It’s an elusive combination of good taste, composed self-assurance and own-terms independence. Cool is the confidence of aesthetic conviction and the strength of personality to impress one’s vision on others. Cool requires imagination and a unique perspective. It’s magnetic because it makes the mundane sublime.” The Age Fashion Blog

I’m just going to have to, “do my own thing on my own terms”. Just be unapologetically me and equally unapologetically do the things I want to do and talk about the things I’m interested in. I’m over craving for acceptance. I just do not fit in at school; never have and – thank God – never will.

Neither do other people who I consider cool (Thomasy is one of them actually cos he is so totally himself and does what he does. Alena, that percussionist I was friends with years ago is pretty much the coolest person I know, her personality was so imprinted on me. A bit like Lachlan’s ‘Dan’ who he always states as his inspiration. Alena introduced me to herbal teas and jazz, she knew her stuff about music and is amazingly skilled. She had opinions but never pressed them – though she stated them when something came up to trigger them!)

Lachlan finds this individuality thing incredibly easy and it’s that strength of self assurance that draws people towards him. And then they start to imitate him. The problem with me is that I’ve always had this craving to be liked by everyone. It’s just not going to happen. Especially with Nikki around. So I’m just going to be who I want to be and say what I want to say in class without worrying that I sound like a know-it-all. I’m going to talk to all year levels and damn well sing in choir and do production because those are the things I love. I still want to be approachable and make a difference in people’s lives, but carrying on like an ego-centric fragile collection of neurosis is hardly going to help anyone or anything.

I’m going to talk to teachers without worrying I’ll be called a “teachers pet”. I’ll read The Age on the bus if that so interests me (even if it may be “the old mans newspaper”. Home and Away sucks. Of course I’ll still be tactful and nice but I will not get sucked into their games or even waste a thought on it. So what if I’m not invited to Tom’s 18th, I hate alcohol anyway. If I want to go hyper on the glockenspiel in Music Styles I shall and no Jen, I will not “tone it down’. (even if everyone confirmed to what some people’s idea of the perfect mould, they would still find a problem with it!)

Bridget was cool. She read the dictionary for fun and watched Iron chef just for the heck of it. She played guitar at lunch and no one told her to shut up. She had the funkiest haircut in Nathalia and once they got over it they thought it was hot and now some tote the same one. She was original from the time I knew her at age of 6, wanting to be a fashion designer and using old scrapbooks to design them.

If I adore Jane Austen and Shakespeare in Literature and everyone else is whingeing about how much they loathe them, well, guess who will top the exam. I do not care if I appear attractive or nor. Lach loves me for who I am at any moment (as proven with early morning rendezvous while I had bed hair, morning breathe and the remnants of pimple cream on my face). I will not check myselfconstantly to pinpoint where or where not I am presentable to the public. I’ll smile and have fun and let them decide for themselves. I have a right to be an optimist and idealist. I can believe in God without having to act as his lawyers constantly. I can talk to a boy without worrying whether or not he finds me attractive. I can use the most elongated and enormous words I can muster and you can look them up when you get home. I can have fun at school.

Stuff those who say I can’t!

 

From The Age’s fashion blog

Follow the Beat of Your Own Drum

Follow the Beat of Your Own Drum

 

 

Follow the Beat of Your Own Drum

Follow the Beat of Your Own Drum

I’m just going to have to, “do my own thing on my own terms”. Just be unapologetically me and equally unapologetically do the things I want to do and talk about the things I’m interested in. I’m over craving for acceptance. I just do not fit in at school; never have and – thank God – never will.

Neither do other people who I consider cool (Thomasy is one of them actually cos he is so totally himself and does what he does. Alena, that percussionist I was friends with years ago is pretty much the coolest person I know, her personality was so imprinted on me. A bit like Lachlan’s ‘Dan’ who he always states as his inspiration. Alena introduced me to herbal teas and jazz, she knew her stuff about music and is amazingly skilled. She had opinions but never pressed them – though she stated them when something came up to trigger them!)

Lachlan finds this individuality thing incredibly easy and it’s that strength of self assurance that draws people towards him. And then they start to imitate him. The problem with me is that I’ve always had this craving to be liked by everyone. It’s just not going to happen. Especially with Nikki around. So I’m just going to be who I want to be and say what I want to say in class without worrying that I sound like a know-it-all. I’m going to talk to all year levels and damn well sing in choir and do production because those are the things I love. I still want to be approachable and make a difference in people’s lives, but carrying on like an ego-centric fragile collection of neurosis is hardly going to help anyone or anything.

I’m going to talk to teachers without worrying I’ll be called a “teachers pet”. I’ll read The Age on the bus if that so interests me (even if it may be “the old mans newspaper”. Home and Away sucks. Of course I’ll still be tactful and nice but I will not get sucked into their games or even waste a thought on it. So what if I’m not invited to Tom’s 18th, I hate alcohol anyway. If I want to go hyper on the glockenspiel in Music Styles I shall and no Jen, I will not “tone it down’. (even if everyone confirmed to what some people’s idea of the perfect mould, they would still find a problem with it!)

Bridget was cool. She read the dictionary for fun and watched Iron chef just for the heck of it. She played guitar at lunch and no one told her to shut up. She had the funkiest haircut in Nathalia and once they got over it they thought it was hot and now some tote the same one. She was original from the time I knew her at age of 6, wanting to be a fashion designer and using old scrapbooks to design them.

If I adore Jane Austen and Shakespeare in Literature and everyone else is whingeing about how much they loathe them, well, guess who will top the exam. I do not care if I appear attractive or nor. Lach loves me for who I am at any moment (as proven with early morning rendezvous while I had bed hair, morning breathe and the remnants of pimple cream on my face). I will not check myselfconstantly to pinpoint where or where not I am presentable to the public. I’ll smile and have fun and let them decide for themselves. I have a right to be an optimist and idealist. I can believe in God without having to act as his lawyers constantly. I can talk to a boy without worrying whether or not he finds me attractive. I can use the most elongated and enormous words I can muster and you can look them up when you get home. I can have fun at school.

Stuff those who say I can’t!

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Carols By (Fake) Candlelight December 15, 2008

Filed under: Culture and Society — bessabariangirl @ 12:28 pm
Tags: , , ,

Carols By (Fake) Candlelight.

How Carols By Candlelight SHOULD be

How Carols By Candlelight SHOULD be

This was once a tradition I looked forward to with all my might, especially as a child – where I could sing in public (and not get told to shuddup!) and sop up all the Christmassy spirit I desired.

This year I was the only one from my family to go along with Dad (who, as the local chaplain got asked to do the short God bit of the proceedings) and represent for Christmas. We took along my Grandma (because of one cousin’s early speech impediment has been nicknamed by our family ‘Grandy’), who at 79 is one of the most sprightly people I know! Sprightly yet demure.

So I settled in the pew – it had been brought inside because of weather concerns…

*Note to self: Outside settings gives more room for the youngsters to muck up, teens to make out surreptitiously and more overall ambience. Everyone is more self conscious in an inside setting.

…Between my demure grandmother and my overly enthusiastic Dad. It was going to be a fun-filled night.

Firstly there was this choir of *older* ladies garbed in high waist black skirts and white “blouses”. They warbled out the favorites starting with ‘Waltzing Matilda’ with the lyrics changed to suit Christmas.

*Note to self: If ever writing a Christmas Carol and I’m going to put time and effort into it, I will at least write some original music to it. And won’t put koalas in it. KOALAS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH CHRISTMAS!!!

…In a key beyond most people’s ranges…

*Note to Self: Put carols in keys that don’t include having to reach to a high ‘F’. We’re not all trained opera singers.

I thought I would spend the time constructively i.e. trying to get the glow sticks we were handed to work. I’m not quite sure what the point of glow sticks were when we were inside with the lights turned on (so that people could read their carol books) but we had ‘em and I at least wanted mine to work. I was yet to be so lucky…apparently you’re meant to bend the things and shake them, but unfortunately mine sprung a leak and down… down… captain…the “glow juice” was sprinkled all over my carol booklet.

*Note to self: Moderation in all things. Especially snapping glow sticks

So I busted my glow stick, but at least I still had my FAKE CANDLE to inspire a bit of Christmas spirit. I am serious, health and safety regulations are even starting to seep into our Christmas Celebrations. Be warned, birthdays will be next. The rate of houses that burn down because of candles on birthday cakes is on the rise therefore we will be replacing REAL candles with FAKE candles that have special sensors on them to turn off when blown on.

*Not to Self: Surely Red Tape MUST have a line on which they do not cross

Next we had the cute kiddies of the Primary School doing their item. The teacher swishes her long skirts (FACT: all Primary School Music Teachers wear long skirts) to turn on the cd player and we hear the opening strains on “Jingle Bell Rock”. I wonder to myself, how many primary schools out there are doing this very song this very minute?! And worse, the kids are up there reading off LYRIC SHEETS.

*Note to Self: Lyric sheets are dodgey. Very, very dodgey. And unprofessional. I don’t care if you’re 10, the lyrics to Jingle Bell Rock aren’t that hard to remember. Just rhyme stuff with “jingle bell” and “rock”.

Next we have one of the local musicians from the local high school doing some items. I’m thinking, this will be alright, I’ve gigged with her before and she’s pretty decent. Well she gets up there and starts singing all these angsty emo songs! From Jingle Bell Rock to “Tool Boy”. I felt like covering my grandma’s ears. Where’s the Christmas spirit in this?!

*Note to Self. NUMBER ONE RULE OF PERFORMANCE ALWAYS THINK OF YOUR AUDIENCE!! This girls audience was old grannies and the young grandchildren they had dragged along. DO NOT SING EMO SONGS TO GRANDMAS

So…at the end of the night where did this lead me? Miserbale with a leaky glow stick, devoid of Christmas cheer. But then I looked around me. My grandmother was singing her hardest, practically belting out, “Joy to the World” – who knows how many more things like this I will be able to do with her? I saw a mother to my left who had massive black roots and faded tracksuit pants, but she was proudly taking photos of her daughter onstage, (even if her daughter was reading off a lyric sheet). I saw a guy with down syndrome up the back grooving around to hit own beat to the music, with a big fat happy smile on his face. And a little girl to my right suddenly exclaimed to her grandma as she pointed to the Christmas tree, “I just LOVE Christmas!!!”

Hmph. Maybe deep down inside, I do too.

Even with a fake candle.

Merry Christmas Everyone