First Step: This is impossible.
As Abraham Lincoln stated, “You cannot please all of the people, all of the time”. Even the nicest people in the world have their haters, because people will inexplicably hate people for no reason. You do not have the problem. They have the problem.
Just look at Jesus, the most God-like, loving person to ever exist and he was CRUCIFED for it! Even if you were covered in chocolate, you still wouldn’t be the most liked person in the world. Because some people inexplicably don’t like chocolate. Some are allergic to it. Some ate too much chocolate mousse at their school fate in Grade 3 and threw it up and so have a taste aversion to it.
So whatever you do there will be those who love you, those who hate you, those you don’t understand you, those you have to explain yourself to a million times and they STILL don’t get you, those who idolize you and then expect you to be perfect and get disillusioned when you trip and fall like a normal human being and those so self centered they don’t even give you a second’s thought. This is a hard lesson, one I’ve had to accept myself, that I can’t please everyone, I can only please myself with who I am and how I’ve acted.
How to Get More People Than Not To Like You
Be true to yourself.
Everyone hates an artist who sells out. You have to know who you are and be confident. People don’t like people who are down on themselves all the times, constantly beating themselves up for their mistakes and complaining. But don’t be too cocky either – humility is the key. Humility is thinking of others more than you think of yourself. Not being afraid to share the spotlight around to others, but not being afraid to accept compliments either.
Don’t care about people liking you
Insecurity is a major turn off. Some people feel they have to have a group of followers to assure them of their self-worth. That will turn you into either a clingy or a controlling person, which in the end will loose you all those friends you fought so hard to gain. People are attracted to those who are secure in themselves, who know they don’t have to prove themselves to everyone. This also makes you a lot less prone to peer pressure and pleasing everyone, which goes back to step 1.
3. Genuinely Care about Other people
It’ It’s that simple. Ask others about how their day went before ranting on about yours. If they had a lousy day, cheer them up. Encourage people, give them attention and make them feel important. This is the central cry of every person’s heart – to be important, to matter. As Dale Carnegie says, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
Don’t be afraid to give compliments, as long as they’re genuine (fake sounding flattery will only get you crossed off party lists), it will make people’s day and light them up like nothing else. Be creative about the compliments too, don’t just say, “nice shirt”, try to make it more memorable (but not weird: “You nose reminds me of my aunt’s pet Chihuahua” just may be crossing the line). For instance, instead of the standard “nice shirt”, you could say “Orange is definitely your color” or “You always look so unique and stand out of the crowd”. Compliments about personal attributes go further than just the standard, “nice hair” e.g., “I love it how you’re so patient with people, it really puts them at ease”.
For some other great resources:
- Read Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People“.
The advice in that book is gold! It covers everything from arguments to influencing people in a positive way. A must for your book collection!