The Wonder of Pop Tarts March 24, 2009

Our teacher Mrs. Tinkler will do anything for us year 12’s, and with her American background, contacts per request (which was more an out-there wish at the time) acquired Pop Tarts for all our year. Now you must understand that in a small town country school in the middle of Australia this is an exotic foreign delicacy on par with frogs’ legs in France.

With wonder we opened our small pantry to find these boxes of Pop Tarts and for a while no one did anything with them, it represented the unknown…but eventually someone made the first move opening the slim packets with two flat pieces of sweet bread with jam in the middle, the questions abounded; are they separate? Do you cook them together? Do they ‘pop’? Wont the icing melt when we pop it in the toaster? How long do we toast it? This was the biggie.

People have a bad habit of wandering off while their food is toasting and coming back only to find charred remains.

This is what happens to Beth and Jo’s attempt at Pop Tarts. Everyone was so unsure about this strange new food that they cooked things in pairs. We had year 11’s in awe peeking in at the proceedings as fascinated as we were – and wondering what the strange smell wasn’t a good sign – Beth’s Pop Tart started smoking as it was stuck in the toaster. Shon and I tried to get it out with metal tongs (while it was still on – the lack of wisdom in this only occurred to us afterwards) managing only to maul it.

Thomasy wisely unplugged the toaster and dug about with some knives, but there were sticky bits, impossible to un-stick. So Shon decides to unplug the fountain outside and plug in the toaster instead, turning it on with the idea of “burning it out”. There was “fire coming out of the top of it” as Shon exclaims and Thomasy calmly points out, “When I saw it there was one small smoldering flame at the bottom”. The idea, nevertheless fails and so now we get Shon traipsing around the school cradling the toaster, harassing teachers who, “don’t want to know about toasters and Pop Tarts”.

Funny Story…with a point December 22, 2008

Heard this story over the coffee gossip sessions at Mum’s staffroom…I think it’s true too

Two guys were walking up to a 21st party, where they only knew like one person. They thought to themselves…this is a chance too good to pass up, and so concocted a plan to pretend to be someone else. For this was their chance to be anything they ever wanted to be and no one would be able to tell the difference. So one pretended to be an pilot, because pilots are cool yeah; you always want to be one when your younger, and so he went around telling people he was a pilot and they would raise their eyebrows, be impressed. He even elaborated on it saying that he worked for the Royal  Children’s hospital and flew around sick kids. This earnt him more kudos points…

When he was staying over that night a little girl fell down the stairs  and fractured her leg, while all the guests were in a panic one said,

“Don’t worry, we have a trained paramedic pilot staying here who flies for the Royal Children’s Hospital!”