Why it doesnt really matter that you have the longest dress in the school March 29, 2009

Ok, so your Mum absolutely refuses to take up your dress even a half of an inch because she hates sewing and as she says, “besides as if you want to look skanky I bought you up to be a decent girl you have brains you don’t need to be there showing off everything etc etc etc I’m sure you get the picture. So you are forced to go to school everyday amongst all these other girls simply flaunting it infront of you and the guys asking why you dress “like a nun”. There has to be some good in this situation right? Let’s do a Pollyanna and paste a smile above our long dresses and think of the following positives:

• Hardly anyone will notice that your dress is long and how worthy are their opinions anyway?

People are too busy worrying about their giant pimple on their nose and their “frizzy hair” and their late homework assignment and their sloppy lunch to even SPARE a thought to the length of your dress. It really doesn’t matter. People are dying in Africa and here you are worrying about a few inches of material. And anyone who makes fun of you for this seriously needs a life and is probably feeling so insecure about their person they’re taking any little tiny weeny thing they can point out about you that is different

• Your other features will become accentuated without the distraction of a short dress

My boyfriend agrees with this one. You know when you’re walking down the street and see a girl with a realllly short dress. You don’t think ‘man her hair looks fantastic today’ or ‘that’s a really individual fashion sense’ or ‘she has cute dimples’…you think, ‘man she has a short dress she looks like her self esteem is way low’. Whereas you see a girl in a long dress and you look at all the other things – you’re not distracted. And guys will see you as a person not an object to be lusted over. They will be listening to your sparklingly wittingly conversation and not constantly having “slippery eyes”.

• You don’t have to worry about flashing people inadvertently (or not)

There is seriously nothing sexy in flashing people all the time. I find it quite disgusting, and people especially older people (such as you boss and teachers i.e. people who you WANT to think better of you)

• You will either not remember when they look back that you had the longest dress. And if they do you can become known as the girl with the long dress and wear this badge proudly unlike those other conformists in the short dress

Who wants to be like everyone else? It’s way overrated. People wont even remember that your dress was a tad longer than most but WILL remember when they’re lives were falling apart and you were the one who stopped and asked them if they were alright. Or that you were this cool non conformist who jumped in the pool fully clothed and could play a mean mandolin… It’s your choice…be like a sellout pop singer or like an Indie artist who invents their very own genre and amaze the world…

The Wonder of Pop Tarts March 24, 2009

Our teacher Mrs. Tinkler will do anything for us year 12’s, and with her American background, contacts per request (which was more an out-there wish at the time) acquired Pop Tarts for all our year. Now you must understand that in a small town country school in the middle of Australia this is an exotic foreign delicacy on par with frogs’ legs in France.

With wonder we opened our small pantry to find these boxes of Pop Tarts and for a while no one did anything with them, it represented the unknown…but eventually someone made the first move opening the slim packets with two flat pieces of sweet bread with jam in the middle, the questions abounded; are they separate? Do you cook them together? Do they ‘pop’? Wont the icing melt when we pop it in the toaster? How long do we toast it? This was the biggie.

People have a bad habit of wandering off while their food is toasting and coming back only to find charred remains.

This is what happens to Beth and Jo’s attempt at Pop Tarts. Everyone was so unsure about this strange new food that they cooked things in pairs. We had year 11’s in awe peeking in at the proceedings as fascinated as we were – and wondering what the strange smell wasn’t a good sign – Beth’s Pop Tart started smoking as it was stuck in the toaster. Shon and I tried to get it out with metal tongs (while it was still on – the lack of wisdom in this only occurred to us afterwards) managing only to maul it.

Thomasy wisely unplugged the toaster and dug about with some knives, but there were sticky bits, impossible to un-stick. So Shon decides to unplug the fountain outside and plug in the toaster instead, turning it on with the idea of “burning it out”. There was “fire coming out of the top of it” as Shon exclaims and Thomasy calmly points out, “When I saw it there was one small smoldering flame at the bottom”. The idea, nevertheless fails and so now we get Shon traipsing around the school cradling the toaster, harassing teachers who, “don’t want to know about toasters and Pop Tarts”.

How I’m Going to Live My Life From Now On March 16, 2009

A Few More Resolutions/Thoughts

Lach + Erin

• I’m going to try and live by humility and gratitude (as opposed to whinging and selfishness)

• Stay Inspired and Stimulated

• I’m going to speak. To sing. If only for eight half deaf people!

• Let joy…sparked by love of God and people…be my defining characteristic

• Life is there to….enable/spark changes in other people’s lives by leaving a bit of your soul behind whether on stage, through a blog post, or in day to day contact

• Be enhanced everyday by my relationship with god

• Unplug this darn computer for a day each week!

• Try to go for a Walk everyday for refreshment

• Read before going to bed FOR FUN

  Take it Each Step at a time Honey

• Lach – love him, support him the best way I can, apply 1 Corinthians 13

• Take notes of what interests and inspires me

• Try to do all my homework before Sunday arvo so i can take it off

Where Am I Wearing March 10, 2009

Where Are your Clothes Made?

Saw an advertisement for this book and it’s definitely on my To Buy/To Read pile. It has been drilled in me – everything we buy is funding international corporations and our money is going for good or for bad. This guy has actually gone out there to put a human face on where our clothes actually come from.

“Whether bowling with workers in Cambodia or riding a roller coasters with workers in Bangladesh, Timmerman bridges the gap between impersonal economic forces and the people most directly affected by them. You’ll never see your wardrobe the same again”

Check out his mega interesting blog at http://www.whereamiwearing.com

My Catties March 9, 2009

The two kitties woke me up this morning so I thought why not, what is there holding me back from posting on my furry felines? Every blog needs some cat pictures.

And so…for your viewing pleasure….I present Ginge and Snap (or, as I like to call them, Rosencratz and Guildenstern…but that didn’t catch on)

Ginge after his bath

This one's the non conformist kit

Me and the new born kitten not even an hour old!

“Lost in Austen” is Lost on Me

“Insufferable”. An “abomination” some of Jane Austen’s favourite adjectives could well describe this horrid drama shown last night on the ABC.

Lost in Austen

Being a Jane Austen tragic myself I could relate to the main character ‘Amanda Price with her obsession with Pride and Prejudice. The book was the first ever real ‘classic literature’ that I read at 12 and every year since then I pick up the book several times and watch the BBC adaption regularly with my Mum. I own the Behind Scenes Companion to the series. I’ve been to the Jane Austen Centre in Bath and religiously watch any documentary I can find on her. My Mum bought me a dress we call my “Pride and Prejudice dress”. My best friend and I are constantly quoting it in real life (and nickname any particularly unattractive guy ‘Mr. Collins’). I had a ‘Pride and Prejudice’ party with my girlfriends for my thirteenth birthday. I even own ‘Being Elizabeth Bennet’ a Jane Austen choose your own adventure story that’s an amusing read (lots of ‘in’ jokes for any other Austen fanatic). But I had a sinking feeling when watching the promos for this drama ‘Lost in Austen’ and I watched it and shook my head in despair. This miniseries simply takes it too far!

The biggest problem with it is quite simply the lack of Lizzie. Replacing her we have this chav wannabe who lacks the sparkling wit of my favourite heroine. Instead we are supposed to laugh at her flashing Lydia and getting drunk at the ball and snogging Bingley….excuse me? The original plot has gone out the window and instead there’s this weird patch job that simply makes me cringe. And amazingly enough the executive producer Damien Timmer is quoted in the Age as saying, “We worked very hard to make it not feel like a lighthearted romp or parody, or stamping all over Jane Austen’s original.” If this show is not a ‘lighthearted romp or parody of Jane Austen’s original” I don’t know what is!

A lot of the shows flaws also come down to the actors. I don’t want to sound like a snob but I really think you need either period or extremely versatile actors that can pull off quality period drama. That’s one of the strengths of the BBC adaption with the solid acting. We can see the strength of the actors in other classic adaptions such as Sense and Sensibility and even the recent series ‘Cranford’ which was a pleasant surprise because of some great casting. No offense but the actors in ‘Lost in Austen’ are simply not getting it. Mrs. Bennet is a complete annoyance with this performance which seems like a bad copy of the BBC series, Mr. Bennet is passable, Jane looks like some sort of blonde Regency emo not the angelic face she’s meant to have. Is Mr. Darcy trying to be a cross over between Hugh Grant and Colin Firth? I actually don’t mind him as he brings across the complete unpleasantness of Darcy which tend to get lost a bit when women viewers get too caught up with his sexiness. Mr. Collins is dreadful. I appreciate that it must be hard to reimagine the character that has been played so hilariously in the BBC version and brilliantly awkwardly in the movie, but this one is just plain creepy! He’s also missing a lot of the bumbling arrogance you find in the book. Instead there’s this vampire crossed with a pedophile who is truly awkward to watch. Apparently this show has become a major success with bestselling DVDs in Britain and this puzzles me.

The audience for this show can’t be for the general public who haven’t seen Pride and Prejudice for this would just confuse them and be a very poor representation of the original. And it can’t be for those who truly love Jane Austen, as surely they would revile from this for the reasons I have pointed out, (even though the crew have put it an effort to place a lot of the original’s costumes in there as a visual in joke for the diehard fans). So perhaps it is for those who have seen the series or the movie once, to whom I say pick up the book and enjoy the best of what Jane Austen brings with her dazzling wit, brilliant characters that come to life in your head and snappy satire – and give this poor shadow a wide berth.